How I found my personal style (and it wasn't what I expected)
Actually, my style isn’t something I found. It’s something I remembered — plus 39 secondhand finds inspired by it.
Finding your personal style has become a real hot topic in recent years. And I totally understand why. Because really, it’s one of those questions that is both simple and completely mysterious:
How do you find your own style? There are countless tips out there.
“What does your everyday life look like?”
“What’s the weather like where you live?”
“What are your basics?”
“Create Pinterest boards!” (Or maybe not, because those perfect images never reflect you 100% in the end?)
I consumed so much content about it. In the depths of the internet, it’s really easy to get lost: between wild microtrends and the quiet, cool elegance of The Row. But at some point, there’s that moment when you ask yourself: what actually fits me? And where is the line between inspiration and copycat?
For a long time, I thought there was no real shortcut. Because honestly? I needed almost 40 years to find my style.
I’ve always loved fashion
I would say about myself: I’ve always loved fashion. I devoured fashion magazines, tried trends, enjoyed buying clothes, and loved putting together countless outfits. Clothing was always a language for me. A way to express what’s inside me without having to say a word.
But that option was pretty limited when I was a child in Eastern Europe in the 90s. In the time I grew up, we got new clothes exactly once a year: for the start of school in September. Outfit repeating was completely normal for me.
My biggest dream back then? A pair of jeans. I wanted to be a cowboy, not a cowgirl, mind you. And I’ve kept that freedom-loving, slightly rebellious, menswear-inspired note in my style to this day. Or maybe better said: because of that. Jeans, plaid shirts, wide belts, relaxed silhouettes. They still have a permanent place in my wardrobe.
As children, we often know exactly who we are and what we like
But over time, that knowledge gets quieter. Expectations from the outside. The pressure to belong. The fear of being “too different” and then not being accepted.
And at some point, over time, not only does the feeling for your own preferences and your own style weaken, but also this much bigger question: Who am I, actually? And what do I want to wear to express that?
I went through many phases, but certain things were always there
I went through countless phases. In my German school (in early 2000s), Miss Sixty bootcut jeans and sports brand sweatshirts were in. As an immigrant, I tried to fit in as well as I could. Without the expensive branded pieces though, there was never enough money for that.
Then came trends during university. Later, basics and all-black outfits in agency life. Today I know: none of those phases was 100% me. But there were always certain elements that carried through. Preferences that were already there in my childhood and teenage years.
For example:
Jeans, or pants in general, more than skirts or dresses
Menswear inspired, but with a feminine contrast
Sporty vibes like sneakers, sweatpants, and caps
That always felt right to me. That is true to me.
The biggest change came after my pregnancy
Because suddenly, I hadn’t just lost my old clothing size, but somehow also my old self. I had to renew a large part of my wardrobe because nothing fit me anymore.
And all of a sudden, I stood there between clothes from my “old life” and my new everyday life. And I finally wanted to feel like myself again.
I wanted to find a style that is not only practical and fits into my day, but truly reflects me. A style that speaks before I’ve said anything. That tells something about me. That feels like 100% me.
The questions that changed everything
I started asking myself:
What are the key elements of my style?
What have I always loved?
In which pieces do I really feel comfortable?
And these answers taught me something I will never forget: how I feel in my clothes and what I associate with them is sometimes more important than just how they look on me.
Because personal style doesn’t only have to do with clothes. It’s about authenticity. About things that feel like you. About what truly belongs to you.
I even own some pieces for more than 10 years and will probably keep them forever.
Because everything that makes me who I am is already inside me. What I needed to find my style was not even more inspiration from the outside. It was the ability to trust my own inner voice again.
And that’s exactly what a style grew out of that feels easy and reflects exactly who I am. And by the way, it’s now also much easier and faster to get dressed in the morning.
So my past became my base
But how did I want to dress for my most stylish future self? I wanted to go even deeper. I wanted to crack the code.
I started looking at silhouettes that enhance my looks, cuts that work best for my body and make me feel comfortable, and colors that suit my skin tone.
Also: What elements should my outfits include to feel truly like me? Who have always been my style icons, and what can I learn from them?
I researched. I experimented. I wrote everything down. And what came out of it was something I hadn’t seen anywhere else before: a practical system of self reflection and exercises that guided me step by step toward a style I can say is truly 100% me.
If you really want to find your style too…
I put all the insights and exercises that helped me into a compact guide.
A guide that leads you back to yourself step by step. And it’s fun, too. Here’s your Personal Style Code.
If I were building my wardrobe from scratch these are the 39 pieces I would start with:
1. New Era baseball cap, 8,50€ 2. Vintage corset top, size 38, 8€ 3. Alpha Industries bomber jacket, size L, 79€ 4. Tom Ford sunglasses, 69€ 5. Saddler leather belt, 85cm, 4€ 6. Fendi Spy bag, 900€ 7. Sergio Rossi studded sandals, size 39, 15€ 8. Baggy camouflage pants, size S, 9€, another one for 15€ here
1. Corset top, size 85D, 2€ 2. Alpha Industries bomber jacket, size L, 95€, a slightly darker colour for 41€ here 3. Denim cap, 15€ 4. Rat&Boa top, size S, 100€ 5. Arket slip dress, size S, 40€ 6. Running shorts, size M/L, 5€ 7. Tie-Dye shirt, size L, 7€ 8. Fendi mini Spy bag, 771€ 9. Waist chain, 110cm, 4€ 10. Ralph Lauren boots, size 41, 35€ 11. Sergio Rossi wooden heels, size 39, 35€ 12. Adidas track pants, size S, 111€ or a darker blue one in size XL for 42€ here
What brands I look for:
Alpha Industrie for bomber jackets
Adidas for pants and shorts and track jackets
Nike for running shorts
Sancho for cowboy boots
Sergio Rossi for heels
Mil-Tec for camouflage pants
Saddler for leather belts
Subscribe and come thrift with us! Each week, we share vintage and secondhand gems from online marketplaces, plus fashion inspiration and style notes to help you build a wardrobe that feels like you.
1. Vintage rhinestones clip earrings, 5€ 2. Vintage Adidas track jacket, size M, 30€ 3. Leopard print old Zara top, size M, 3€ 4. Tom & Jerry tie-dye shirt, size M, 13€ 5. Fanci Club denim corset, size S, 350€ 6. Fendi Mamma Baguette bag, 849€ 7. Adidas joggers, size S, 31€ 8. Camouflage pants, size M, 25€ 9. Asics dad sneakers, size 38, 85€ 10. Sergio Rossi cowboy style boots, size 38, 89€
1. Vintage cap, 10€ 2. Prada sunglasses, 90€ 3. Vintage track jacket, size M, 8€ 4. Corset style top, size 38, 18€ 5. Cropped lace top, size S/M, 7€ 6. Satin running shorts, size L, 20€ 7. Balenciaga City bag, 640€ 8. Sancho cowboy boots, size 38, 60€ 9. Sergio Rossi camouflage heels, size 37.5, 29,50€
Thank you for reading The New Way to Thrift. We’re so happy you’re here!
We’re Katja & Marija, two sisters with one shared obsession: finding the most beautiful vintage and secondhand pieces—for your dream wardrobe. Each week, we curate the best finds for those who build their style based on feeling, not fleeting trends.
If you want to go deeper:
→ The Personal Style Guide
A clear framework to understand your taste — and finally put words and structure to what you’ve always been drawn to.
→ The 7-Day Outfit Challenge (free)
A simple way to start applying your style in real life. One step per day to build outfits that actually feel like you.
→ Our proven tips for shopping on marketplaces & search terms (part of the paid subscription)
So you can build a wardrobe aligned with your personal style.
Disclaimer
MOA&LOV Berlin provides a digital intermediary service and does not sell any goods directly. We solely offer information and recommendations on vintage and second-hand products available on various online marketplaces.
Please note that we do not assume responsibility or liability for lost, damaged, or stolen shipments. We also do not take responsibility for any discrepancies or issues that may arise during the postal delivery process. All purchases and transactions are conducted directly between you and the respective sellers.
We recommend reviewing the terms and shipping policies of each marketplace or seller before making a purchase to ensure your expectations and requirements are met. If you have any questions or issues regarding a purchase, please contact the respective sellers directly.
By using our service, you agree to these terms and acknowledge that MOA&LOV Berlin is not liable for the above-mentioned circumstances.
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Your images are brilliant! I was recently asked to find photos of a friend over the years. Going through all my old pictures, I saw how consistent my style was. You're absolutely right, you don't lose your style, it's always there. Fab article, thank you for sharing.